Being in a Metal Band When You're Over 30
30s aren't the new 20s.
You know the drill: kids start bands on their late teens, in some cases even younger, leave their houses, and go on tour. They get the alcohol and drugs they can find to endure the tours, living for the night, which is always a party. Some bands, despite all the struggle and effort, don't make it. They're not the new Mötley Crüe and certainly not the new Metallica. They give up the possible career as musicians and find mundane jobs or, similar to retired soccer players who become trainers, start something in the same field: record stores and labels, production, band management and even bars. But what if you start your band after your 20s? The question isn't meant toimply it's impossible.
I co-founded a band while I was underage (18) and left before I turned 23. Years later, I got the chance to reunite with a friend and former bandmate and start something new. Our passion for music and the experience we had acquired with age gave us a new insight and brought back the thirst to create something big. Unfortunately, things don't always go as planned.
Life gets in the way. When you reach your mid-30s, you realize how much things around you change, and that's also true in the musical scene: the popstars of today are way younger than you, and you've never heard their names before. The rockers from back then are old, and suddenly you feel like your parents, who may or may not have been at the famous Woodstock '69 and saw Hendrix live.
Your life takes on a new meaning - you're already conditioned to work and stabilize (not a rule, of course, but the social pressure is there, even if you're ignoring it). Many friends around you hae moved out, have three kids, are married and don't go to concerts that often. Maybe so do you, or, as in my case, it's a mix of that and the fact that the bands I like are either retiring, not playing that much, or their members have died.
Stressful was the time my band lost the guitarist, then the drummer gave up after two years of searching. I felt hope and, at the same time, lost when I was the only member left, having daily thoughts of how to get back to composing and how to pick up the pieces that were left behind in this glass house.
It's not that old people get grumpy and have difficulty distinguishing right from wrong. "Back in the day..." usually ends with some affirmation that it was better, even when it wasn't. As you get older, you accumulate experiences, along likes and dislikes. No onions - ever again!
You also know which kind of people you prefer to have around, and making new friends when you're over 30 is proven to be difficult; now imagine finding a new band member.
Here, I'd like to point out that band members can be friends, but it's not unusual that they aren't. Sometimes, not at all. The fact that you're sharing the rehearsal room, gage, and creation process is a massive deal, especially when someone has creative ideals that go in a different direction from the rest of the members - even when this member was fully committed when it started. People do change, then?